Let them eat cake - Part two

It's October and there's another birthday around the corner.  I have to say I lucked out in the birthday department.  In our family our birthdays are somewhat spread out so that there's a bit of a break between the festivities.  In addition, we don't have any winter babies which helps in that I don't have to plan any snow related birthdays.

We're away just before birthday comes so I'm not sure he'll get a party though he will get cake.  Probably this one - which I found on the internet here.  I have to say she's a genius.  The cake tastes good, is always moist, and easy carve into fun birthday cake shapes - all good things in my book!

Here you go:

Basic Yellow Cake (a really moist vanilla cake)

Ingredients

• 2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour (do not sift the flour or sift AFTER measuring)
• 1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
• 3 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1-teaspoon salt
• 1 1/4 cups milk
• 2 ½ teaspoons Vegetable oil
• 1 stick butter (not margarine), softened
• 1-tablespoon vanilla extract
• 3 large eggs 

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350°
2. Cut wax paper to fit the bottom of (3) 9 x 1 1/2-inch round pans. Spray the pans with cooking spray, place the wax paper in the pans and spray the paper.  (I never do this - I usually just grease the pan and hope for the best)
3. In a large mixing bowl combine the flour, sugar, baking powder and salt, mixing well
4. Measure the 1-1/4 cups of milk in a 2 cup measuring cup….then add enough vegetable oil to bring the liquid up to 1-1/3 cups (it works out to be about 2 1/2 teaspoons)
5. Add the milk/vegetable oil mixture, butter and vanilla to the flour mixture and beat with an electric mixer on medium to medium-high speed for 2 minutes, scraping sides of bowl as needed
6. Add the eggs and continue beating an additional 2 minutes. Pour batter into prepared pans
7. Bake at 350° for 20 to 25 minutes or until a wooden pick inserted near center of cake comes out clean, or until cake springs back when touched lightly in the center
8. Cool cakes on wire racks for 15 minutes; remove from pans and cool completely.

Makes 24 cupcakes, 2 9x1.5 inch pans or 1 9x13 oblong cake

My Notes:

1. The recipe says it takes 20 - 25 minutes to bake but that's because she made it in three cake pans.  I usually put the timer on for 20 minutes and then keep adding 10 minutes.  Next time I make the cake I'll take note of how long it takes and update this.
2. In my experience the cupcakes take 20 minutes.
3. My kids and I love a lemony flavour so I sometimes add the rind of 1 lemon, and a tablespoon of lemon juice.  If you do that also add 1/4 tsp baking soda (to counter the acidity of the lemon - I am not a baking guru but can pretend to be one with the help of the internet).  You can reduce the amount of vanilla or not, depending on your taste.
4. I usually make a buttercream icing to ice them.  I use this recipe - though I sometimes substitute lemon juice for the vanilla (or go half and half).  They ask for unsalted butter but I never have any so I always use the salted kind.

Sorry I didn't have any photos again.  I do take a lot of pictures they're just on my computer not at all organised and very difficult to find.  Have to fix that!

If you do make these, do let me know how they turn out.  Bon Appetit!

On grief

Last year, around this time, my friend lost her father.

As is customary, I went to her house to pay my respects a few days after his death (I had missed the funeral).

My dad had just flown back into town and he too had missed the funeral.  I remember seeing him at her house.

"Hi Dad" I might have said.  "How are you?"
He would have smiled and said hello.

The gathering would have been divided - women on one side, men on the other so there wouldn't have been much opportunity for us to interact.  Plus we were there for someone else.  His friend.  My friend's father.

I had carpooled with my cousin.  I thought, as we left, that I could catch a ride with him.  But it would have been out of his way so I didn't.

I think I took him for granted.  Do all children take their parents for granted?  I regret every day that I ignored him.  I regret every time that I got upset at him.  And the times that I upset him - the man who rarely got upset.

We didn't know that within a few months it would be my friend who would be condoling me at his funeral.  "I have nothing to say except that I know," she said as she hugged me.  If we had known would it have been different?  Don't we know that death is inevitable?  Don't we know that it can claim anyone, anytime, any day?  Why don't we behave like we know this?  Why do we forget? 

When he died we got accounts from all kinds of people who told us the impact he'd had on their lives.  As I listened to them I wondered how I, who lived with him, did not see this side of him.  What is it about family dynamics that skews our perceptions of each other?

Grief hits you when it's least expected.  And I have been finding these past few weeks particularly difficult.  I have felt that I don't deserve to cry for him.  That somehow had I behaved differently I would then be allowed to cry.  I don't deal with confrontation well.  I don't show my emotions easily.  Well I do, it's just not the ones that count.  I can make all the excuses in the world but it doesn't change the fact that I don't think I treated my dad the way he deserved to be treated.  I'm not sure where to say it so I'm saying it here.  I can't actually speak the words.  

But I did love him.  And it was the last thing I said to him.  He was a beautiful man.  He was my father.  The memories are filling me up.  And I still can't believe that he's gone.

Grief.  It's a crazy weird process.  I'm still trying to figure my way around it.

I hope that I am not exploiting his memory by revealing this here.  Just that this is cheaper than therapy.

Homework Dilemmas

I've been thinking a lot about homework lately.  In fact I wrote a post about it which I never ended up publishing (I have a few of those - posts that I write that I then wonder if they are indeed for public consumption - it's an internal debate that I keep having).  Anyway, homework.

They don't get that much homework.  The 5 year old got more at her preschool than she does now that she's in Kindergarten at public school.  I think the rule of thumb around these parts is a half hour a week for each grade level minus a half hour.  So for kindergarten they get none.  For grade one they get a half hour, grade 2 they get an hour and so on.  Generally the teacher sends it home on Friday and it isn't due back until the following week on Thursday.  Which is plenty of time to get the work done.  In addition there is a reading requirement every day and spelling tests once a week (last year it was once a fortnight).

So the question becomes - do you insist that the work gets done as early as possible to avoid last minute scrambling?  How much participation is required of the parent?  How much quality control do you engage in (if at all)?

Up until now I've been somewhat laissez-faire about school and the work involved.  In preschool I let the children do what they wanted to do.  I didn't believe in pushing them into reading if they didn't want to read though I read them tons of stories.  I didn't insist they learned their alphabets though I sang the songs so they learnt them anyway.  My kids picked up books on and off as desired.  They wrote stories and poems if they felt like it and if they just wanted to play they did.

Both girls were able to read by the time they started Kindergarten although it wasn't until this summer that my older daughter (she just turned 7) really got into books.  She can't read them fast enough now.  The younger one is happy to look at pictures but she won't read the words unless we make her do it.

Last year my older daughter was in grade 1.  I made sure she did her homework, helped her prepare for spelling tests and generally participated enough to know what she was strong at and what she needed extra help with.  This year, I am finding myself a little more rigorous.  She's in grade 2 now and I think the expectations should be a little higher.  If her writing is messy, I insist she redo it.  If she makes spelling mistakes, I correct them - especially if they are words she should know or words she's copying from one list to another.  I insist that she does the homework at the weekend so that we're not scrambling during the week to get it done.  On Tuesday or Wednesday night I ask her to review the work she did to catch any errors.  I sit with her while she does her reading and I ask her questions to make sure she understands what she's just read.  We're learning how to use a dictionary.

I just wonder though - am I doing too much?  Would it be so bad if she handed in sloppy work?  Would the teacher say anything to her?  Can I trust the teacher's expectations?  How do I get my children to be intrinsically motivated?  Does that just happen over time?  Is discipline taught or practiced?

A teacher friend of mine once said to me that teachers can't do all the work -  that the children whose parents participate in their education tend to be more successful that ones whose parents left them to it.  And that really in high school, when most parents tend to back off, is when children really need the most guidance.  But, she said, you can't very well leave them all through elementary school and then suddenly show up interested when they start high school.  So right now, I am just laying the groundwork.

Honestly I never thought I would have to go through school all over again when I had children.  And the irony that I was somewhat of a slacker student is not at all lost on me.

Oatmeal Pancakes

During the week our breakfasts tend to be rushed.  In fact I generally skip breakfast in favour of a latte when I get to work.  The children usually have either toast, cereal or eggs depending on how much time they have.  My daughter's current favourite is toast with cream cheese and avocado (though I substitute the cream cheese with some goat cheese - delicious on rye toast!)

The breakfast discussion over here a few days ago led to a request for my recipe for oatmeal pancakes.  Pancakes are our weekend breakfast staple.  And if there are leftovers, I keep them in the fridge and stick them in the toaster for whoever wants them during the week.  I've read about people freezing them and doing the same but to be honest I've never tried it - they don't last long in our house.

Pancakes were one of the first things I learned to cook and for years I used the recipe from Jean Pare's Muffins and More cookbook.  Recently though, I discovered this recipe for oatmeal pancakes.  And I have to say I love them.  They leave you fuller (you don't eat as many) for longer and are delicious.  The one thing I noticed though is that if you don't soak the oats, you get a bit of a chewy, grainy texture in the pancakes.  Soak 'em and the texture is much smoother.  In fact, I've been known to mix the batter the night before, stick it in the fridge and cook 'em up in the morning.  

I also like that they don't have anything extra in them.  My SIL will put cinnamon or vanilla in pancakes.  I guess it works for some but for me, I like them a plain as possible to make room for the toppings.

In our house, it's maple syrup and nothing else will do.  While in Aus, we had people bring us pints of the stuff whenever they came to visit.  It's always easy to know what to give a Canadian who's living outside of Canada (if you're visiting them from Canada).  We really rationed the stuff while we were there.  We had Canadian friends come to stay with us while we were there and I remember watching in horror as they poured our liquid gold extravagantly over their pancakes.  Little did they know that we savoured the stuff knowing that it would be awhile before we got anymore.  (Maple Syrup is available in Australia but costs an arm and a leg for what they classify as Grade B.  Not that I'm a connoisseur or anything).

Anyway, back to the recipe.  It's a good base.  You can add cinnamon if you like or even apples to make some sort of fritter.  But as I said, for me, it maple syrup...and maybe some fruit.

Here you go.  Enjoy!

Oatmeal Pancakes
(Modified from this recipe)

Ingredients

• 1 tbsp. cooking oil
• 1 tbsp. honey
• 1 egg
• 1 1/2 c. milk (I am sure I use way more than a cup and a half)
• 1 1/2 c. oatmeal (dry, I use quick cooking oats but regular ones should do - just maybe soak them for longer)
• 1 c. flour (can use ½ all purpose and ½ whole wheat)
• 2 1/2 tbsp. baking powder
• 1/2 tsp. salt

Directions

• In a bowl add milk to dry oats.  I usually add enough milk to cover the oats.  I think this ends up being more than a cup and a half of milk.  Let the oats soak for at least 5 minutes while you get the other ingredients together.  (If you're not using quick cooking oats, then soak them for at least 2 hours.)
• In a medium bowl, thoroughly mix the oil and honey - the honey lightens in colour as you mix them.
• Add the egg and beat until well combined using an egg beater (or a whisk or a spoon).
• Add the oat and milk mixture.
• Add the dry ingredients and beat the mixture just until the batter is smooth.
• Add more milk if the batter seems too thick and sludgy.
• Grease an electric skillet with 1 tablespoon of oil and heat to 375 degrees.  I use a frying pan on medium heat.  I usually use a non-stick pan that I grease with a little butter (the butter is unnecessary if using non-stick, it just makes the pancake taste a little buttery :) )
• Use about 1/4 cup batter for each pancake (I use 2 tablespoons for each pancake).
• Cook until the edges look a bit dry, and bubbles start to form and pop on the top (you may need to reduce the heat a little to prevent the first side from burning while it cooks through), then flip over and cook about 1 1/2 minutes longer.
• Serve with maple syrup or any other toppings you like.  A friend of mine used to cook up her strawberries/bananas/mixed chopped fruit in a pan with some maple syrup - makes a delicious topping.

Note: If you do decide to refrigerate the batter and cook the pancakes the following morning, you might find that the batter has a lot of bubbles and is stiff looking.  I just start scooping from the bowl without mixing it up - I figured that the bubbles are good thing.  I'm no expert though, it's just what I did.

My partner heard a podcast once where the person was talking about the perfect pancakes.  According to the podcast, the ratio of baking soda/powder to flour is 1 tablespoon of baking powder OR 1 tsp of baking soda for every cup of flour.  In this recipe I counted the oats and flour together (2 1/2 cups) and adjusted the baking powder accordingly.  I have used this ratio in my regular pancake recipe as well and found that it totally makes them fluffier :)

If we make these at the weekend, I'll work on taking some photos for you.  In the meantime, let me know how they turn out!

A perfectly good egg

Upon hearing a rendition of Humpty Dumpty from a CD that her little brother had insisted on playing in the car, my older daughter piped up from the back seat, "Too bad Humpty Dumpty didn't crack straight into a frying pan."

Meanwhile her Knock Knock jokes have a way to go.